Won’t Look Back

I’ve been so excited to move into our new place, I never stopped to think about what I’d be leaving behind.

This week it hit me I’d be leaving the apartment which was my most favourite place to lived since being on my own. I’ve made so many memories here. It seems a shame to leave them all behind. I know they’ll go with me, but there’s this part of me which wonders if I’ll leave a part of myself within these walls when I go, and if so, how will I get her back?

Perhaps that’s my problem with change: I turn around to look behind, at what I’m leaving in my past.

But that’s why Lot’s wife turned to salt.

I need to stay focused on what lies ahead. I don’t want to be someone who clings to her past, but how do I allow myself the space to reminisce, to remember, to cherish what Hashem has given me in these walls? The life I lived here in safety and peace? I don’t want to forget how He’s blessed me here.

I pray in my new home — the one I am now creating not alone but with my new husband — Hashem blesses the work of our hands allowing us to create a haven which is even better than this I leave behind, for in a way, won’t it now be complete?