This past year is coming to an end, at least on the Jewish calendar, and that means I have been reminiscent, as one does when they assess their lives before the chagim, or holidays. For us, for Israel, this past year has been tinged, if not saturated, with sorrow and grief. Since October 7, our lives have never been the same. There have been days where my grief was near inconsolable, where I wandered through the day like a phantom, feeling more a shadow of myself than anything real or ...
Rosh Hashanah
Joy Comes in the Morning
A new year has come and gone, and with it I hope the sorrows of the past. This time of year always brings with it a flood of emotions, but none are more potent than my joy mingled with grief. Last year was probably one of the most painful of my life. Even now, as I write, I’m still grieving; hoping, praying it will be fully released by the end of Yom Kippur next Monday evening, so that I may enter this new year fully revived and content. And yet, though there has been great pain, there has ...
Embracing the Pain
Three weeks ago, my father was rushed to the hospital due to severe swelling, weeping of the skin, traumatic ulcers, and pain in his left leg. A few days later, he underwent an arterial bypass where they inserted a stent. Essentially, as I confirmed with a RN friend, he had a "heart attack" of the leg. During this time, my main concern other than supporting him by being present as often as I could in the hospital with him was caring for my mentally disabled mother. You know, the one who ...
New Year Reflections
We spend so much time reflecting in preparation for the High Holy Days, I often found myself reflecting throughout the celebrations. Rosh Hashanah came and went without a major glitch, which isn't difficult to do. Often the problem is making sure I get all the food cooked in time whilst making sure I’m still maintaining some sense of the looming New Year approaching in a few hours, that I might greet it with the reverence it deserves. It was on Yom Kippur, though, I noticed the greatest ...
Lovesick
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I think it’s desperation. Maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, or an unattractive perspective. After all, are we not enough on our own, a whole person without need of another to complete us? Why then is there this agonising desperation that comes along when someone you’re close to—whether spouse or friend—is missing? If we are complete, why feel the sting of loss? Why desire? Why need? Why love? These musings come to me after enduring ...
