I've been avoiding this for a while now, thinking I wouldn't need to take such measures. However, I've come to accept that the only way forward is to be honest with myself. My creative spirit is broken; distraught with grief. I need to take more time to sit with my pain, to find my creativity again, to let my soul ache and languish the loss of the beautiful life of my uncle. I think I've been trying so hard to press forward, I never stopped to ask myself if I should. My grief has at ...
mourning
From Mourning to Joy
This past year is coming to an end, at least on the Jewish calendar, and that means I have been reminiscent, as one does when they assess their lives before the chagim, or holidays. For us, for Israel, this past year has been tinged, if not saturated, with sorrow and grief. Since October 7, our lives have never been the same. There have been days where my grief was near inconsolable, where I wandered through the day like a phantom, feeling more a shadow of myself than anything real or ...
Three Weeks
It’s been three weeks. Three weeks since they screamed, Begging to be saved. Three weeks since they bled, Entire families slain. I want to write. I want to find the light. Chanukkah is coming, Not Tisha B’av. I can’t find the words, the momentum. I feel snuffed like chaff Thrown to the wind, Blown about in a storm. All that comes to me are snippets. Moments. A line here, a thought there. Broken, like our home. Pieces missing Like the souls ...
After the Death
Two days ago in shul we read about the instructions Hashem gave Aharon for what to do after the untimely death of his two sons, Nadav and Avihu. Two days ago, my coworker unexpectedly, suddenly, prematurely died. It's peculiar because the rabbis always discuss how Aharon was silent in the face of his sons' death. However, I wonder if any of them took into consideration how merciful Hashem's instructions are. At face value, when we read the parasha of Acharei Mot it comes across as a cold, ...
