I’m Engaged!

Yes, you read that title correctly: I’m engaged, and yes, definitely to be married! (As Charlotte Lucas said, “Is there any other kind?”)

I know, I can’t believe it either. It’s strange, bizarre, weird but it’s wonderful, exciting, terrifying, thrilling; years of dreaming, hoping, wishing, anticipating all, AT LAST, coming true!

Even though it’s been a week since my engagement, I still have moments of incredulous euphoria as I stop to ponder, consider the miracle that it is. Of course, there’s a slight sprinkling of moments of almost paralyzing, gripping fear as I venture into the unknown of becoming a married woman, no longer my own person, but belonging to another wholly, completely, utterly, entirely.

It’s incredible. Dazzling. Stunning.

Thus, now you might understand why my silence has been deafening these past few months as I neglected this blog. (Transferring into a new position at work doesn’t help either.) Unfortunately, until I’m married I think this silence will prolong (but I’m sure I’ll keep you updated with wedding things on other platforms!)

Though I hate to admit it, I’m going to be preoccupied these next 102 days. (Yes, that soon! Can you imagine?) Planning a wedding is no easy feat, as I once imagined and now am experiencing first hand. It’s driving me mad. As my fiance said the other night, “Can’t I just enjoy being engaged to you for one day? It hasn’t even been a week!”

If I stop to think about it, how long it’s been since I’ve written, and not just on this blog, I feel like I’m carving my own heart out to get married.

Then again, isn’t that what marriage is? Entrusting your whole self to another? I guess pausing on my writing to focus on him, on us, on our upcoming marriage is a sufficient enough excuse.

He’s worth it. And I love him. I think writing can wait. Hashem understands. He orchestrated all this to begin with didn’t He?

I wonder what the angels said to each other the day my name was announced in the heavens as the one whom my beloved would marry. Did they rejoice with the glee I feel now? Did they feel a tingling sensation on the soles of their feet as their minds and hearts sparked with anticipation?

Whatever their reaction, I doubt it equals my own. As it says in Shir HaShirim, “I have found the one whom my soul loves.”

Took me long enough, but I found him. And I can’t wait to be his.

Until then!