Fairy Tales Exist

I want to follow up with expounding on something from yesterday’s post, especially since I know I probably won’t write for a while with the holidays coming.

As I have written before, I’ve faced many hardships in life, most of which were tragic, unexpected, and left me coping, alone, in a wake of undue trauma.

That’s just my story. I didn’t write it. However, I have the capability of either playing the Leading Lady or taking a back seat like the Best Friend in this tale of Life. I think I realised this long ago as some naïve teenager idealistically dreaming of what my life could be to pass the time away.

To be the Best Friend, I could wallow, complain, and let my bitterness consume me. That doesn’t sound like fun. I’d miss out on all the action and drama, on the happy ending. I’d endure life, not enjoy it.

But if I’m going to act like the Leading Lady, as my own protagonist, instead of some supporting cast member, then there are a few archetypal traits I must possess.

First, I must be courageous. No matter what comes, no matter what trials I face, I must rise above it and overcome whatever obstacles stand in my way.

Did Aragon succumb to Sauron? Were the Pevensies defeated in battle by the White Witch? Did Gid’on let his fear overwhelm him instead of fighting the Philistines? Did Yael hide Sisera as a cowering woman or slay him in his sleep? What if Cinderella listened to her stepmother, afraid of punishment; would she have ever met the Prince?

While some of these examples are a bit more fantastical, there are others whose lives could equally be inspirational. Yosef, Esther, Chana, David – just to name a few. Heck, what about Joan of Arc, Queen Elizabeth I, Galileo, Anne Frank, or Martin Luther King, Jr.?

Each of them faced hardships of their own, but they were as human as you and I. They had human emotions, hopes, fears, doubts, dreams. Sure, they are a handful of names only history remembers, but what about the countless soldiers who won the second World War awaiting their deliverance from the French shores of Dunkirk? Or the Jewish people who fled Nazi-razed Europe and founded the modern state of Israel, rising like a phoenix from the ashes of the Holocaust?

Did any of these aforementioned cower in the face of adversity? No. I daresay if they had, we would not have their stories to glean from.

Second, my courage cannot come from a vacuum within myself, but a source beyond me. I alone am nothing but dust. I have no power other than my free will, and it can be a lethal weapon or a benevolent gift. Thus, my courage must grow from the seeds of hope, of the assurance and conviction that things not seen will come to being, will become reality.

Hope can be such an esoteric concept, like trying to hold the wind. It can also be equally difficult to articulate. However, I find that Hope is actually quite easy to explain or understand as it is intrinsic to our existence, an inherent seed planted in us at birth. It is only when it is too often deferred or squelched – when our hope has become battered and bruised by the trials of Life – Hope becomes aloof, distant, or non-existent.

But what are we putting our hope in?

For me, personally, I have tried to always hope in Hashem. There are times when I did not, and the disappointment I felt was heartbreakingly great, but not because He was not faithful to fulfil a promise to me. Rather, my hope was in something fleeting, something which would inevitably disappoint and fail me.

This is why Truth is so vital to our hope. It defines the real from the fake. It defines what is worth hoping for, hoping in, believing in.

What is Truth? In my last post, I said I did not know, and while that is still correct, I will add my opinion that Truth can only be defined by Torah. (Of course, there are those who will disagree with me. Fine. I’m used to it by now. However, if I’m entitled to anything, it’s my opinions, even if they’re wrong. Besides, why else use a blog except for the self-promotion of my beliefs and opinions?)

Thus, if there is one thing I have learned throughout this life, I can never go wrong with hoping in Hashem. He strengthens me when I am so weak I cannot find the will to go on. He promises, “a flickering, smoldering wick [I] will not quench,” and I have yet to be extinguished.

Third, to be a true hero, one must be prepared for sacrifice. This, I think, is our greatest challenge as humans, but divulging that opinion right now would be too excessive. I will summarise with saying in moments of adversity, especially when I have faced my own darkness, there is always a choice which lies before me. I can say either “no” or “yes”. If “no”, I can continue as I am, without changing. If “yes”, I can sacrifice, or let go, of whatever I am clinging to which is causing me to stumble, and continue with less weighing me down.

A perfect example of this is running a marathon. When you’re running a race, especially a long distance marathon, you don’t carry a bag weighing 50 lbs on your back throughout it. Of course, for training purposes, you add weight to build resistance and strength, but just as we must cast off restraints, there comes a time for athletes to run without extra weights.

It’s like Aragon telling Legolas and Gimil to pack light so they can hunt some Orc (Uruk-hai actually). They wouldn’t be able to race across the hills of Middle Earth after Saruman’s uruks if they still carried all their weapons and armor with them except the essentials to survive in battle.

Except, I admit, sacrifice is usually much more difficult than just leaving behind an extra sword or dagger. Sometimes, it’s more significant. In making some of my decisions, I gave up certain dreams in pursuit of others, all in the hopes, in the belief, that my choice would be worth it. Though, it still hurts some days knowing, remembering what I’ve left behind. But I don’t regret it.

Lastly, if I’m to survive as my own story’s heroine, I must not give up. Never. Some people call this gumption, grit, moxie, perseverance, or steadfastness. My hope and courage mean nothing if I do not have the resolve to see my tasks, my dreams through to completion.

Practically, my execution is simple. On days when it seems like Hashem is far off, it’s about putting one foot in front of the other, living by the standard of life dictated by Torah, and remembering He is faithful to keep His promises, even if I do not see fulfillment yet.

How do I know Hashem is faithful? Well, aside from my own experiences, I could just start retelling you the history of the Jewish people, but that would take a lifetime.

Now, do I actually embody and live out these four characteristics? No clue. But it’s the goal I aim for, the ideal I strive to achieve. It doesn’t make me any different than anyone else. I’m not special. We all are made of the same flesh, same blood, same hearts. We are all capable of having passion, grit, and dreaming. I just think a lot of us give up after years of disappointment, whereas I fight to keep my hope alive because without it, what am I?

That is why I cannot ontologically relate nor comprehend the plausibility of losing hope or giving up.

That is why I believe fairy tales exist.

They exist because reality is a greater storyteller than any fanatical, imaginative allegory. They exist because human history is a collaborative narrative of human experiences, of facing adversity and overcoming impossible odds, whether great or small. Show me the tragedies, and I will show you the constant rebirth of humanity.

As Tom Clancy said, “The difference between reality and fiction? Fiction has to make sense.”

Our whole collective yet individual existences are a grand tapestry of stories woven together as one epic narrative. Each of us has a story to tell. We just have to decide which role we’ll play.