Dayenu: A Pesach Miracle

Remember how a few weeks ago, I shared about how an issue at work had turned sour, so sour it might have even been antisemitic?

Well, last week, on Rosh Chodesh Nisan, a miracle occurred.

It wasn’t a huge miracle; nothing like the splitting of the Red Sea, but it was my miracle. My little miracle, or Hashem’s way of telling me everything is going to be okay.

I can’t reveal everything now, all the wonderful details and how they interconnect, what I can say is, I finally at long last received some answers to my situation at work.

Dayenu!

Better still—the answers were in my favour! Even if they had denied my request, I am proud of myself for standing up and fighting for my rights, for my needs.

Dayenu!

But I also received news of an opportunity, an invitation, later the same day I received my answer. I accepted, and am waiting to hear back on the results, but even then, receiving the invitation was enough to remind me Hashem sees and hears.

Dayenu!

Regardless of what results come, I know Hashem has everything under control. Even if things stay as they are, it is enough for me.

Dayenu!

Though there were times I fought my own unbelief, I asked, begged, Him to help me battle my doubt because no matter how painful everything felt, no matter how far away He felt, no matter how alone or scared I felt—I never wanted to give up.

Giving up is its own kind of failure.

Perseverance is its own reward. Enduring ensures victory because at least you know you did everything you could to stay your course. Had you stopped, would you have come this far?

I know Tolkien says Frodo failed. The Shire burned, but was not the rest of Middle Earth saved? Did they not win the Shire back and restore it?

Avoiding conflict, avoiding pain, does not ensure victory, and I think too often we confuse the pain of perseverance with the twinges of inconvenience. It we do not exercise our patience, our tolerance, with the small inconveniences of everyday life in a broken world; if we cannot see the good in something no matter how minor or insignificant—how do we expect ourselves prepared, strong enough, to endure a trial when it comes?

Furthermore, if we conflate pain and twinges, refusing to acknowledge life will have its difficulty and challenges, if we do not exercise discernment between knowing those moments which are worth our efforts of endurance verses those moments when we should just accept the inconvenience and deal with the minute consequences—how do we expect to know when we should stand and fight or yield?

Or we are all far too stubborn, myself especially.

Maybe all the above.

The relief I feel from it all is staggering, is joyful. I cannot wait to sit at seder and enjoy my own small taste of deliverance from these past few weeks, reflecting on all the other times Hashem led me out of my own Egypts and into a promised land, of remembering His endless kindnesses which He has bestowed upon me time and time again.

They say there can be miracles when you believe, and I do. There are miracles. You just have to look.

Chag Pesach Sameach!