I’ve had a startling epiphany. Last night, I was in a meeting which was supposed to last at the most one hour. It lasted three. At about two hours into the meeting, I shut down. Emotionally. I couldn’t allow myself to indulge the rage and indignation I felt rising, swelling within me. Sure, I managed to engage conceptually for the remainder of the meeting, but the longer it elapsed, the less I presented and the more I retracted into myself. Afterwards, as I retrospectively sifted ...
All Things Jewish
The Megaphone of Pain
A few weeks ago, I wrote about being more confident, about my journey of learning to stand up for myself; of removing my masks to be wholly accepted as who I am, not what others perceive me to be. The irony is since then, I have felt my words, my convictions tested, pushed to their limits in an incubator of trial. It’s as if some force is questioning me, saying, “Oh, really? You’re growing confident now? Let’s see about that.” And BAM! The crap hit the proverbial fan. I experienced extreme ...
Growing Confidence
Jumping right in, I’m not quite sure where to begin. I’ve been in the middle of chaos for over a month now. May and June are always terribly busy for me. Too many birthdays and occasions. This year I even had two nieces and one nephew graduate from their perspective schools. Oy! Unfortunately, this has left little room in my brain for musings with the maelstrom I’ve been foolishly, aimlessly dog-paddling in for weeks now. Now, none of this is all bad, mind you. In fact, I think it all to be ...
Passover Failure
I never know how to start these blog posts. It always feels so pedantic. So we’re in the middle of Pesach; Passover as it’s more commonly known. This time of year is not merely to remember and reflect on the life of Moses and the Exodus from Egypt. As usual, it permeates far deeper than memory in our psyches, or neshama. As we say during Seder, we must feel as though we endured the bitterness of Egypt ourselves and are leaving our slavery and sorrows behind to begin a new life of ...
Confession
There is something I need to confess. (And it won’t be brief. #sorrynotsorry) It’s nothing terrible. In fact, it could be wonderful. It’s just that it is very difficult because it is something so intrinsic to my soul I keep it close, hidden away, protected. However, if any of you have noticed on my homepage, I quote the dear C. S. Lewis, of blessed memory, who once said, “Nothing that you have not given away will ever really be yours.” Like everything else I do, I strategically chose such a ...
