Breathing Again

As the silence continues to wash over me, the rush of the High Holy Day season quieting, I find so much has happened in my life in just this first month of the new year.

Usually, I’m one who doesn’t just merely shy away from change. I flee. Kick. Scream. Beg. Plead. Fight. I try everything in my power to not allow change.

Of course, I’ve already written about this. Why be so repetitive?

Perhaps because I continue to amaze myself.

Now, before you pass judgement on me for being seemingly self-aggrandising, take note that I have been on quite the journey of self-discovery these past few years. After all, why else become an adult but to find my place in this vast world? (Hmm…there’s a thought…)

No; believe me my amazement comes more at the incredulity of my reality, regardless of the arbitrariness of it all.

And how do I feel about this change?

Glad. Delighted. Ecstatic. Flabbergasted. Dumbfounded. Shocked. Surprised.

I could keep going, but I think you get the point.

I’m not sure this post has a concluding point, but then again when do they?

If anything, as I listen to the silence engulfing me, allowing myself to breathe again, I am simultaneously extremely contentious of these changes while still feeling as though my awareness is only just now beginning to awaken, an awareness which makes me full of childlike wonder and excitement as my anticipation swells, brimming with hope.

As I said, fairy tales are real, and I just think I might beginning to see how much my life resembles one.

Perhaps one day I shall share more of what these changes are, but for now, ambiguity wins. Besides, I always did enjoy a thrilling mystery.